ugh im hungry

my dad left yesterday for the badger game in michigan. he's not supposed to be home until really late tomorrow i think. 

so me and my mom decided to do whatever we felt like today. she really wanted to see that movie nights in rodanthe so we drove to johnson creek to see it. they have a really swanky theater that has this great stadium seating and pretty good popcorn. but anything is great compared to the theaters in janesville tbh. we noticed that when we came back home to see burn after reading at the movies ten. both movies were good. i didn't think nights in rodanthe was going to be good at all. i thought i knew what was going to happen and that it was just going to be a dumb chick flick, but it was actually pretty good. i cried. =] because i always cry at movies. it was just the whole situation kinda touched me, even though i think they fell in love a little unrealistically. and the theater was full of dumb ladies that oohed and ahed at richard gere. ugh. oh and i remembered how much i like james franco. =]

i liked burn after reading, too. it was a little dumb and slow-paced, but some parts were hilarious and i really liked george clooney's character. 

um, i had more to say, i really did.

maybe ill edit this later and add whatever i remember. 

editt: i guess i wanted to talk about the game yesterday. it was a lot of fun, but i think that dumb boy zach needs to stop fucking with me! he didn't show up before we left for the game and i was worried that he wouldn't show. he ended up getting there just a little after we did. then he hung out with kimberly [in our geometry class] a whole lot and barely talked to me for the first half of the game. then, the second half he [and nate] flirted with me like there was no tomorrow. also, when he was about to leave, i couldn't tell if he wanted me to hug him or if he just wanted to get out of there. ugh! its like being in every class with wyatt all over again! i just dont know what to do.

baby we belong alone

oh man i am not feeling good today.
my ears hurt and feel really full, and
that whole area that connects your ears to your throat and
my lymph nodes and that area under the jaw hurt and
my nose is runny/stuffy and
my throat is scratchy.
and it really sucks.

i think its because of the game on friday.
i had a whole lot of fun and it even inspired
the first story i've written from start to finish in a day =]
about me and the kid im totally crushing on atm, haha.
its not as dumb as it sounds, i promise.
but it rained the whole time and i was yelling a lot
and i think that's what caused it.
but idk, ill go to the doctor
if its not better by tuesday.

but anyway,
allie called me and was like,
'want to go to my house for lunch tomorrow?'
she was going to make me the type of lunch she eats
all vegetarian and all natural and everything
because she lives like a few blocks from school.
and my parents asked, 'oh what did allie call about?'
and they were not for it at all.
so idk what ill do.
because my dad actually supervises my lunch hour,
so its not like i can just leave, he'll probably be watching me.
this is one of the times that the whole
'parents working at school' thing
sucks ass.
damn.

for ashley

so my schedule for this year is:

first- french II, behn
second- physical education, moen [2nd semester is health with lee]
third- western civilization, conway
fourth- geometry, idk who the teacher is, it was a misprint...
fifth- physical science honors, olson
sixth- concert band, my dad lmao
seventh- accelerated english 9-10 honors, coats
eighth- advisory, bouska

so i guess that's all there is for that.
band camp is really hard tbh.
for three hours a day, all week.
its so fucking sweaty like you couldn't believe in that room
and im sitting by all these older guys who are totally nice and funny and everything
they're kinda intimidating, but its okay because im kinda used to it.
and i think ill have permanent scars on the insides of my lips
from my braces. its a lot of pain. =/

one day, robots will cry

so my dad and some of his airplane loving family journey'd up to oshkosh for the fly in or w/e. they saw airplanes from wednesday-sunday. i do not like airplanes, so i did not go.
while he was gone, my mom and i did a lot of shopping and idk, girl bonding stuff. you know how it is. on saturday we ventured up to johnson creek to the big outlet mall. we went to a few stores, but we got tired pretty fast. i got this from zumiez and a green tank and checkered blouse-y top thing from rue 21. i also found these red skinny jeans for like $20. they were perfect and i even fit into a 3 instead of a 5. =] that made me happy, but i didn't get them because they weren't exactly the right color and i didn't want to buy too much because the shoes i want are like $90 and i dont want to spend billions of dollars on clothes.
oh! btw they're opening an american apparel store in madison! im super excited because its right on state street and close to ragstock and now we'll have a reason to go to madison more often.
also, we went to kohls and i found this dress on the clearance rack for $10 that just happened to be my size and i tried it on and didn't like it very much. w/e. but my mom was like. OMG YOU MUST HAVE THAT ILOVEIT. she started talking about how i needed to 'stop dressing like a boy' and about how i didn't like it only because she liked it. she says stuff like that a lot, its never true, and we didn't end up buying it. idk. she's really stubborn. we sorta bonded over it though because she told me a bunch of stories about how shy i was as a child and how im not easily indimidated by her and its so weird because my brothers definitely were, but they were really outgoing children and im the opposite because im really driven and stubborn like her but im kinda shy in some situations. i always win arguments. and she also said that she likes who i am a lot but she wishes that she understood me more and that i really 'threw her for a loop' and stuff like that. it was kinda nice. then she went to the bank or something and i stayed in the car and had a staring contest with a little boy in the car next to me. when he was leaving he waved at me and i waved back. it was cute. =]

and omg! on saturday our neighbor down the street called us and was like, 'time to lock all your windows and doors and turn lights on. there's a robber lady in the field.' apparently, this lady robbed some people a few blocks away and ran away from the cops in her car, but she came to the dead end of our street and got out of her car and ran. she was actually super close to our house. i was scared shitless. the police got her and told us that there had been a lot of robberies like this near us and to keep on a lookout. and i am pretty terrified about it.

so. i guess that's it. i got the cool kids' the bake sale and i like it a lot. =]

things

so i saw mamma mia today w/my mom. i liked it. thought it was really fun and funny. my mom cried a whole lot. said it was the 'mother and daughter thing' and that i would never realize how much i meant to her. i 'aww'ed a lot and she cried some more and it was pretty nice. <3>

in other news, I MUST HAVE THESE. THEY ARE THE SHIT. NO LIE. also the glamour kills shake shimmy etc. shirt and an 'alive' shirt from twloha. and also EVERYTHING by goodie two sleeves. haha they are the coolest. idk though because we're not really credit card people but we've been charging more lately and my mom wants to stop that so there probably wont be many internet purchases for a while. i'll just have to go to zumiez and hot topic etc and make due. w/e. school's coming up so now's the time to get new things while she's more lenient.

so

today i painted some sets with my mom and mrs. schrank, sorta. we primed some wood, not a big deal. it only took a few hours. but after we were done, we had this cool little discussion about my mom's life, about mrs. schrank's life, about children, about my life, about a lot of people's lives, about integrity, about relationships, about a lot of other things. it was pretty great. i've never liked this lady too much, and she interrupted my mom a lot, but its okay because she shared a lot of her life with us and i have more respect for her now. i realized that all people are inherently good, some are just troubled and dont know how to show it. i also learned a few things about myself that weren't really important but nice to know.

idk, i love discussing things. its a pretty natural thing for me to tell people what i think. even if i don't really know what im trying to say, even if i want to hold it from them, even if they wont like it or they'll disrespect me or think im dumb for it, i want everyone to understand how i feel. i'll find a way to let them know. however, i guess i dont really have a lot of strong opinions on big issues. i have a lot of thoughts, but never any final descisions.
and thats just how it is.

=]

tomorrow is my toe surgery.
i dont wanna say im scared because its not a real surgery or anything.
its fucking toenail surgery. who cares.
plus ive pretty much done it before.
but im still pretty freaked out about it.
yeah, you could say im scared.
because surgery is fucking terrifying.

wish me luck, =/


[editt; happy bday ray toro! i actually remembered]

yay

omg. i saw hancock on wednesday and it was more amazing than i couldve imagined!! aah. the storyline was great. i thought i knew what was going to happen but it completely blew me away!! it was way different than any superhero movie i had ever seen and ugh it was just amazing!!! i did cry towards the end for a few different reasons, but im okay with that because it was totally worth crying about. there were maybe one or two little things that i would've liked to see more of, but the story was great and the acting was great and aah i loved it a lot. i want to talk about it so bad, but i dont want to give it away, so i'll stop, but it was marvelous!!

the only thing that sucked was my parents being dummies like they always do at movies. my mom was asking me questions the whole time because i guess she didn't really get it, and my dad was trying to be cool and telling me when he noticed weird things like, 'oh they have a past together dont they!', 'oh man i totally saw that coming'. like, ugh, really?! i noticed that too, a long time ago, please shut the hell up kthnx. they did that at wall-e, too. =/
my dad likes to discuss movies after we see them. im cool with that and all, i love discussions, but there's a point where i want to stop talking about it and just think about it, you know? i like keep my thoughts to myself a little. but, idk, thats just my dad i guess.

ugh. i bought some lemonade from some girls across the street and it does not make my tummy feel good. i will not buy anything from them again. ehh.

one more thing. if i haven't already said this, im going to be gone next week to camp. im leaving tomorrow and won't be back until next sunday. so, yeah. that's that. toodle-oo. =]

elitism

so today i went to my friends dance recital. she was really good, but i didn't like the atmosphere of the place. like, when i was a dancer, things were so much different. my teacher must've been evil mchigh-standard pants because she set the bar super high. these kids were good and everything, but the costumes, the songs and the staging weren't what i was expecting. it's just a different style i guess, but who am i to judge, you know?

well, my mom thought she could judge all she wanted. she pulled the show apart...ripped it to shreds. i mean, i don't think she was rude about it, but she couldn't stop talking about how much lower the standards are here and how things are so mediocre here, this could've been better, "that wouldve never happened in mrs. betty's show" etc etc.
i didn't like that at all. like, it's cool if you don't like something, but you don't need to beat into the ground how much better you've done it. that's not constructive to me. it made me realize how much of an elitist attitude my parents have toward everything. they approach a lot of things with predisposed notions about how they should be, and if things don't exceed expectations, they were shitty or unorganized...or whatever.
i don't like the attitudes my parents have about anything, even towards each other. they are extremely contradicting in everything they say. i'll keep the examples short. my mom expects my dad to do things for himself because he's the man of the house, yet she talks about how she 'wears the pants' and doesn't like him taking part in things and hates the traditional family picture of the self-sufficient man w/simple, happy wife. my dad hates when my mom tells him what to do, but when she doesn't tell him what to do, he does nothing and waits around for her to make a decision. ugh! i just wish that they could see that they both have faults and could make a compromise about things. they're both good people, but they can't see the whole picture and the little details. they see one or the other...and it bothers me a whole lot.

i've been thinking about that for a while, and needed to get it out. thanks for listening. =]