'a lot of wow factor'

so, i've kinda been holding this in, and i just don't think i can anymore.

today i made a mistake.

i wore flip flops on todays field trip,

when my mom specifically told me not to.

i guess i told her i wouldn't, and i just changed my mind at the last second and threw some on before walking out the door. my dad didn't know or didn't care or something, so he mentioned something about it in casual conversation and my mom was, needless to say, unhappy. she made me put all my flip flops away for the winter. 

im totally fucked.

like, i hate wearing shoes. i really love shoes, but just not wearing them. i have a really hard time keeping them on all day and tbh all the ones i have just make my feet look big because they are. all my shoes are really, like idk, i want to wear them (some of them) but they just don't look good. 

so this has kinda made me think about who i am. idk if i know who i am atm. i think im where i want to be, but there's a lot of other things i want and a lot of things i don't really know about, like if im doing them for me or if im doing them for everyone else. 

i guess this isn't really that big of a deal, it just feels like it is, you know? im just really confused right now. >.<

clothess

so we went shopping in madison today.
im so so happy about everything i got. first i went to h&m and got this kickass purple sweatshirt that just screamed gabe saporta!
i couldn't resist. and i like it a whole lot. i'll prolly wear it every day for the rest of my life.
i also got a green and purple striped long sleeve shirt that is mostly green and a whitish/grey scarf that i absolutely love to death.
again there were some great red skinny jeans that were the right size, and the right color this time, but i didn't get them because idk, i dont think i'd have anything to wear them with. maybe i should get some bright blue or green ones. idk.
then we went to zumiez [probably my new favorite store of all time] and finally bought the fucking shoes. they absolutely made my life. omg. when i asked the girl, they just so happened to have my size, and she pointed out that they just so happened to match what i was wearing perfectly, and a girl had just so happened to buy them right before me and was all, 'omg you have to get them, they are super comfortable and i love them a lot.' so i was like, fuck it, these are mine.
i also got the glamour kills shake shimmy etc shirt and i didn't buy this shirt and an even better scarf, but i wanted them really badly. my mom ran into an old friend of hers and they talked for a super long time while i decided whether or not to get the shoes and talked a lot with the employees. idk what it is, but i usually get really reserved and quiet when employees talk to me, but they were just the coolest people ever. the girl i talked to the most was so adorable. she acted like we were best friends and i just wanted to put her in my pocket and keep her forever. haha i know, thats a dumb metaphor, but its exactly what i wanted to do, and she was so small i probably could've. then there was this other girl who was a total diva, but she was still pretty cool, and this guy who was sweet and funny. aaah they were awesome.
then, idk, we did a lot of other shopping for my mom and stuff, but i was okay because i just bought the shoes ive wanted since forever. they look pretty great, too. =]

so yeah, im pretty excited about life right now. im just deciding what to wear to chi-town tomorrow. i don't want to over do it, haha. me and ashley are going with my church youth group to the shedd aquarium and to the navy pier. its going to be awesome. =]

things

so i saw mamma mia today w/my mom. i liked it. thought it was really fun and funny. my mom cried a whole lot. said it was the 'mother and daughter thing' and that i would never realize how much i meant to her. i 'aww'ed a lot and she cried some more and it was pretty nice. <3>

in other news, I MUST HAVE THESE. THEY ARE THE SHIT. NO LIE. also the glamour kills shake shimmy etc. shirt and an 'alive' shirt from twloha. and also EVERYTHING by goodie two sleeves. haha they are the coolest. idk though because we're not really credit card people but we've been charging more lately and my mom wants to stop that so there probably wont be many internet purchases for a while. i'll just have to go to zumiez and hot topic etc and make due. w/e. school's coming up so now's the time to get new things while she's more lenient.