i think i might change my name to tomorrow

 well its spring break again.

except its not very springy outside, it snowed today.

i dont have much to do, other than homework, play practice, and soccer practice this week.

except we're going down to chicago for the aquarium and epic burger on thursday :D thatll be a good time

and i was supposed to chill with kegan today, but i dont know exactly how things are going to play out with me and him.

so my mom and i went grocery shopping and played wii fit for hours. :] it was good.

i am in love with a thing called soccer. it is so nice to be active, i never wanna stop playing ever. even though my team isn't that good, it doesn't matter because we have so much fun. i used to be a real lazy kid, but now im starting to think that sports are kind of the best :]

i was going to get into some real thoughtful stuff about relationships and all that in this post, but i don't feel like it i guess. im tired of all that. i think its time for me to just do what feels right. so ill leave it that im mostly happy, but ive got some choices to make. we'll see. im hopeful for whats to come next year.

which reminds me. i really want summer. like now. i want to be free to do what i want, and not be a freshman anymore :P im looking forward to this summer a whole lot. were going to italy and its pretty much going to make my life. although i have no idea how im going to survive for two weeks without my phone haha. itll be worth it. 

i just want it to be any day but today. any day but tomorrow. any week but this week. :/ im just bored with the way things are right now and im longing for change. hopefully it will find me soon.

im tired and cold so i think ill be heading off to bed, good night blogger

we've got these big city dreams

so yesterday was halloween. it could've been worse tbh. i made my costume in like three hours. i spray painted a box silver and cut holes for my head, arms, and legs. i drew a control panel on the front and wrote coolbot 3000 on it because, you know, that's totally me. =] me and ashley went to beloit, even though my friend who lives there wasn't there, we still went around her neighborhood because we have been for a really long time. it was pretty cool, and a lot of people commented on my costume. we got home and didn't have anything to do so we walked down to pick n save, one of my favorite places to go at night. there wasn't much to do there since we didn't have any money. we also went to walgreens across the street because they have everything there. we saw these kids and kinda wanted to talk to them, but they left before we could say anything. on our way home, we saw them at mcdonalds. again, we didn't have any time to talk to them and after we got home, we got my mom to take us back so we could find them. haha, we did, and they were hanging out with a pimp and a couple dumb girls we know. one of them had halloween paint all over his arms and face and was like, hey, you're girls, do you know how to get this kind of stuff off? everything we suggested he had already tried, even the 'blow job' machine in the bathroom, haha a.k.a. the hand dryer. 

all in all, it was a quiet but good day.

the real point of this entry was supposed to be about all the reasons why i desperately want a sibling [either a slightly older brother or a slightly younger sister], but i know that it would get really long and wordy and im pretty tired so i'll just leave it at that. =]

california sunshine, tennessee rain

so, sunday was my birthday.

im fifteen. =]

and, im going to kinda copy chad sugg.

by making 15 resolutions for the next year.

1. kiss that dumb boy.

2. play a lot more piano.

3. finish learning how to play the guitar.

4. try out for next year's musical!

5. join a few more clubs [human relations, science club, maybe vic tutoring]

6. god, please finish writing a story.

7. buy a new belt. don't stop wearing the old one, just get a new one.

8. take a fucking art class.

9. go to warped tour.

10. become passionate about something.

11. lighten up about some things

12. and get serious about others.

13. get a facebook. maybe.

14. never talk to lonnie again.

15. write a song [more than just a melody and some lyrics. a song.]

okay so for my birthday i got a laptop, and my dad used his educator status to get a free ipod touch. so :D im pretty excited. also today i bought a shirt off the internet and we finally ordered the concert tickets!! aah cobra starship, forever the sickest kids, hit the lights and sing it loud! its crazy how excited i am.

so i guess that's it. i've had a whole lot of homework so i haven't been on much, but im trying. =]

chi-town

so yesterday i went to chicago with ashley, lauren and morgan.
i lost my first staring contest with a guy on a bus, but it was okay because he gave me a thumbs up. a lot of things at the aquarium scared me, but that was okay too because i like aquariums a lot. navy pier was a little boring and the walk we took was like ten million miles long but that was also okay because we had a whole lot of fun on the spinning chair thing and i bought some great lemonade. the water taxi we took was amazing. i didn't know how much i liked boats, but now i do. =] we laughed a lot, which made it a good day.

its hard to describe how intensely i want to live in a big city like that. well, more like i wish i was raised in a big city like that, so i knew how it all worked and stuff, you know? i mean, i don't live in a tiny town or anything, but i used to, and its not like where i live now is the biggest city on the map either. idk, i just like big-city life and i wish i had all the opportunities and different situations that a place like chicago provides.

and idk what's wrong with me, but i feel pretty angsty lately. like there's something huge missing from my life and no matter what i try to fill it with, its only temporary. i guess it's a good thing school is starting soon so i can have things to think about other than how empty everything feels. =/