i think i might change my name to tomorrow

 well its spring break again.

except its not very springy outside, it snowed today.

i dont have much to do, other than homework, play practice, and soccer practice this week.

except we're going down to chicago for the aquarium and epic burger on thursday :D thatll be a good time

and i was supposed to chill with kegan today, but i dont know exactly how things are going to play out with me and him.

so my mom and i went grocery shopping and played wii fit for hours. :] it was good.

i am in love with a thing called soccer. it is so nice to be active, i never wanna stop playing ever. even though my team isn't that good, it doesn't matter because we have so much fun. i used to be a real lazy kid, but now im starting to think that sports are kind of the best :]

i was going to get into some real thoughtful stuff about relationships and all that in this post, but i don't feel like it i guess. im tired of all that. i think its time for me to just do what feels right. so ill leave it that im mostly happy, but ive got some choices to make. we'll see. im hopeful for whats to come next year.

which reminds me. i really want summer. like now. i want to be free to do what i want, and not be a freshman anymore :P im looking forward to this summer a whole lot. were going to italy and its pretty much going to make my life. although i have no idea how im going to survive for two weeks without my phone haha. itll be worth it. 

i just want it to be any day but today. any day but tomorrow. any week but this week. :/ im just bored with the way things are right now and im longing for change. hopefully it will find me soon.

im tired and cold so i think ill be heading off to bed, good night blogger

you got so much love in you

so, wow.

i didnt mean for that last post to sound so emotional. but i was feeling pretty bad. we talked on the phone that night and about so many things and, idk. love is hard. what ashley said may have been right, and ive had all those same thoughts. like it was too short for it to be real love, just infatuation and i really just liked the way he treated me and were just not right because this kid really is kind of a player like everyone says. 

but the things we talked about just make so much sense. like, maybe the love we have isnt quite the the type either of us needs atm? its hard to explain i guess. unless he was outright lying to me, he really does loves me, in a different way than he has other girls. so, im okay in the end. we still talk a lot and i still love him, even if im not in love with him and we cant really be together. things just cant work the way we want them to. its complicated. but it doesnt have to be figured out for it to be alright.

so im not upset anymore, im living day by day which always works, and things are going good really. im happy just knowing that ive got so much love in my life and theres a lot of people who really care about me. its all good in the end. =]