i dont wanna work

so, finals are over. =]

they weren't too bad actually.

the only ones that stressed me out were geometry and science.

but i just checked my grades online and i think i got A's on all of them. hopefully yeah.

but what this post is really about how nonexistent my social life is. aah. ive got things i want to do, like bowling, sledding, just plain old hanging out with kids, and people i want to do these things with too. ive got a lot of friends really, but no one seems to have the time for me, no one really wants to hang out ever. luckily ive got stuff to do this weekend because there's a basketball game and sam's kinda having a party thing afterwards [i think ill be the only girl there haha], plus soccer on sunday and zach, taylor, caleb, and other kids are going to be there, so ill have fun. 

but on a normal weekend i dont have anything to do. like i go shopping with my mom, and occasionally there's a basketball game or i'll hang out with someone, but never on a regular basis. it kinda sucks =/ but, whatever. its just something i'll have to work on.

i feel so

things are weird.

idk. finals are this week. things will be so nice when they're over. i wont be worrying about studying or how much everyone is stressed about it and things like that. things will be simpler.

right now im not really sure what to do about anything. im tired. not too bad i guess, but tired.

saint john [haha, yeah right]

so, some big shit has been going down. 

i mean, not really. 

but you could say that.

actually winter break is pretty boring. 

my mom and i did christmas just the two of us because my dad was in florida. it really bothered her, but i was really cool with it because we just chilled and had fun without him. it was good. i dont usually like christmas but this year was pretty nice. =]

im not really supposed to talk about this, but im kind of falling in love with zachs brother. maybe? yeah. thats weird for me to say, but im thinking its true. like, hes perfect. simple as that. ive heard that he's not, really. that hes going to hurt me because hes a player and a real douchebag. and i can see where girls have gotten that. but im taking a chance, and so far its paying off. =] its a little weird because i used to see him as like my big brother haha, but now its so much more than that. really. like, i love this kid. but he wants me to keep it a secret. and its kind of nice, but it hurts a little, i want to share this with everyone. but ultimately i can see the reasons for that, no one at school is going to understand and because hes 18 its not such a good idea, and his parents are pretty crazy, and really its not like we're dating or anything, he's not even my boyfriend. its different than that, and i know its not going to last forever, but thats kinda what i like about it.

so, thats that. idk if it made any sense. i just had to get that all out.

ive watched a shit load of movies over the break. i love movies a lot.

i got a new phone for christmas and i honestly didn't like it at first, but i do now. its really kind of nice. there's a couple things about it that bother me but ill get over it. its a good phone.

so, i think thats it. maybe ill edit this later as i remember whats been going down.