too bright to see to loud to hear

these past couple weeks have been pretty sweet. i dont want to talk about it too much because i dont want to jinx it or anything. but things are just pretty good. ive been crazy busy. 

i got into the spring play. its the matchmaker, like the non musical version of hello dolly. im not going to lie, its kind of lame honestly. its kinda fun, and totally worth it to be working on my drama letter, and ive made some more friends, plus my acting skills have gotten better already, but god its so boring! like the cast is really pretty small, and im only in a couple scenes of the first act. but i dont wanna complain, at least i got in, you know? romeo and juliet starts like the week right after the matchmaker gets over, and i might try out for that too, just so i can be in as many things as possible. its all good.

saw slumdog millionare friday with my girl. its amazing! an absolutely wonderful movie, i couldnt believe it. just great. =]

i hate playing the trumpet. enough said. its just not my thing. but i dont care, i like being in band, plus my dad's the director so ill stay with it. id like to try choir for once though =/

tonight was really weird. like, in a good way, haha, but it was just weird. i had three guys [none of which being aaron, ashley] talk sex with me, which was a realllly weird thing, especially since one of them was gay hahhaaa. but i haven't been able to stop smiling for quite a while, and its nice to be called babe again, by someone whose last name does not rhyme with reicher. i want to put this all behind me and start all over with a clean slate as far as boys go. there are so many of them! and theyre all so fun to flirt with! haha id kind of like a boyfriend, but its nice not being tied down. =]

ummm there's lots of other things for me to say, but im tired and its bedime, nighty night

weve got to reinvent love

its about a week, week and a half until valentines day. my faaaavorite holiday.

this valentines day will not be the best. but it will not be the worst.

ive been hurt, but ive been hurt worse.

ive been loved, but ive never been loved more.

i dont want to get into it i guess. i wish i didn't talk about things like this anymore, ahaha. it seems like my whole journal is full of my self pity about how dumb i am and how every relationship i have seems to consume my whole life. and i bet its really annoying. i am so tired of it. so im not going to talk about it anymore, this is my last love post for a while, i promise =]

so here's the real deal.

this week has been not too bad so far.

monday was good, 

tuesday was better, 

wednesday couldve been worse, 

today gave me clarity.

so it evens out to a good week?

ive got plans saturday, soccer sunday.

i really really love soccer.

its so much fun, i cant wait for the regular season to start.

its nice to be doing a sport, actually working at something is really nice and rewarding, it makes me feel really good =]

plus it'll be nice to letter. thats one of my big goals, to letter in like absolutely everything. haha. i guess thats kind of a shallow goal, to work hard just for some felt patches and medals and pins to put on a fancy jacket just to show everyone how much better than them you are. but theres something about it i want sooo bad. im not sure what it is. those jackets look awfully warm haha =]

i just like how easy it is to get involved in things in high school. like, sometimes high school sucks major asssss. really it is sometimes counterproductive. but sometimes its really nice. its just enough freedom for me to make my own decisions and have fun, but its also just enough structure that i dont have to do much thinking haha. so, i like it. im having fun. life is good.